TTC Days 2, 3 (TMI for some)

Weight: 282.4

Day 2:  The two backed beast was made.  However, it was a period day so I wasn't expecting it to end with a baby being made.  However, I need to get in the mindset that sex is for fun too.  I think the past year was so consumed with sex being for making a baby that I didn't really enjoy it.  I was just too worried if it was going to take or not.  I need to stop focusing on that.  I need to concentrate on me and hubs.  We need to get healthy, lose weight and just enjoy life. I think that'll help.  Plus me going part time and being home more.  And not being as tired. I hope.

Day 3.

I am at my parents.  I have to work today.  Boooooooooooo.  I really dislike work.  Especially the p.o.s I work with today.  He loves to snitch on other nurses.  However, he just looks stupid because he doesn't research before he snitches to DON or the RP.  Then he looks stupid.  oh well. I am just going to study. I start (hopefully) start Grad school in January.  I really want to brush up on my anatomy, math, english (I am a terrible writer), and nursing skills/info) before then.  I also want to start learning Spanish and Hungarian.

I can't wait for it to be Friday.  I really want to know whats up with me.  I hope the Dr just doesn't say lose weight and have sex more.  I have been 30 pounds lighter and making the poon every other day and nothing has happened.  Plus, I haven't been on birth control since December 2013.  There has been no baby.  I think something is wrong.  Some of the tests that kaiser ran are confusing.  Like my estradiol.  It says that mine is <50 but it doesnt tell me what that means.  On other sites it gives a range. 30 to 400.  So what is mine?  I am guessing that is one of the reasons I am having trouble conceiving.   I don't really want to hormone replacement therapy.  But I am planning to get my boobs and lady bits cut out when I reach a certain age anyway. so I guess it doesn't really matter too much in the greater scheme of things.  I just want a child with my hubs so badly.  There is something that just won't feel complete if we don't have children.  At least 1.  I wanted 3 but I will settle with 1 if that is all I can have.